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Group offers support, chance to vent
While the relatives of someone who has been murdered often feel a profound sense of isolation, Cindy Testerman said they do not have to be alone.
Testerman and her mother-in -law, both of whom are related to people who have been murdered, have started a local chapter of the national group, Parents of Murdered Children. Although the group will meet in Culpeper County, Testerman said it will also serve people in surrounding counties, including Fauquier.
“Currently the closest chapter is in Winchester,” Testerman said. “That's too far away for a lot of people, so I called the national organization and decided to set up a group here.”
In spite of the group's name, she said anyone who's been affected by a homicide, including siblings and co-workers, can attend the meetings. The meetings will also be open to anyone who's lost a friend or loved one to drunk driving.
The sessions will be held the fourth Friday of each month at The Depot in Culpeper. The first one will be held Sept. 26.
“There will be guided topics for the conversations, but the meetings will really be a forum for people to talk about what's on their minds,” Testerman said. “Everything will be kept confidential.”
The concerns people have vary from case to case. Testerman said her brother was killed by his wife. Her sister-in-law has appealed several times. In each instance, the appeal has been denied.
“Even though I've been told that the chances of an appeal being granted are less each time, it is still something we have to deal with,” Testerman said.
In many cases, there is a fear that a homicide victim or the victim's lifestyle will be judged. There is also resentment because many people feel the justice system is geared more towards the defendant than the victim, Testerman said.
“The defendant has a chance to appeal; the victim doesn't. Anything can be said [about the victim]. Justice is a tough word for us to swallow.”
Family and friends of murder victims feel completely alone because the crime is something they don't feel comfortable talking about, according to Testerman.
“It's not something you can discuss with extended family. A wall goes up so people feel that it can't happen to them, but it can,” she said.
In addition to providing a “safe, comfortable place” for people to vent, Testerman said the group will provide access to services and programs, such as court accompaniment offered by the national organization. Should the need arise, programs for children will also be available, she added.
For more information, call (540) 829-9124; or visit www.pomc.org.
E-mail the reporter: abogdanovic@timespapers.com
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